Wondering whether you should do a first look at your wedding? This guide covers everything you need to know—from what it is to the pros, cons, and how it might impact your wedding day.
In this article:
- What Is a First Look?
- The Pros
- The Cons
- First Look vs. Aisle Reveal: A Side-by-Side Comparison Chart
- How a First Look Affects Your Wedding Timeline
- Not Sure? Ask Yourselves These Questions
- Creative Alternatives to a Traditional First Look
Click here to see all the photos from this adorable first look on Instagram 😍
What Is a First Look?
A first look is a planned moment before your ceremony where you and your partner see each other for the first time—privately, away from your guests. Traditionally, couples wait until the aisle moment to lock eyes. But more and more people are choosing to share that experience in a quieter, more intimate setting before the ceremony even begins.
The first look usually happens after you’re both dressed and ready but before guests arrive. It’s often photographed (and/or filmed) to capture the raw, emotional reactions in a relaxed, unhurried space. Some couples even opt to include personal vows or gifts during this time.
While most first looks are between partners, it’s becoming more common to have first looks with a parent, child, or wedding party, too.
Should I Do a First Look at My Wedding?
The short answer: it depends on your personality, your priorities, and how you want your day to feel. Let’s look at the pros and cons to help you decide ⬇️
Pros:
- Private, emotional moment: You get to experience each other’s reactions in a quiet, uninterrupted space—no stage, no eyes on you, just the two of you.
- Eases nerves: Many couples feel calmer once they’ve seen each other. Sharing a laugh or hug before the ceremony can make a huge difference.
- More time for photos: With a first look, you can take couple and wedding party portraits before the ceremony, leaving more time for mingling during cocktail hour.
- Better lighting for photos: Especially in fall or winter weddings, a first look gives you access to the best natural light of the day.
- Spend more time together: Without a first look, you might not have any one-on-one time until the reception. With one, your day becomes “our day” a little earlier.
Cons:
- Breaks tradition: If you’ve always dreamed of that aisle moment, doing a first look might take away some of that magic for you.
- Feels less spontaneous for some: Because it’s planned, a first look can feel more orchestrated than the natural emotions of seeing each other during the ceremony.
- Earlier start time: You’ll need to be fully ready earlier in the day, which could mean an earlier hair and makeup call time.
- Might reduce the ceremony’s emotional impact: Some couples worry that the aisle moment won’t feel as emotional if they’ve already seen each other.
Quick Comparison: Pros and Cons
| Pros | Cons |
| Private, emotional moment | Breaks tradition |
| Eases nerves | Feels less spontaneous to some |
| More time for photos | Requires earlier start |
| Better lighting | Might lessen aisle “wow” moment |
| Spend more time together | Not everyone loves being photographed twice |
Key Takeaway: If privacy, flexibility, and reducing stress appeal to you, a first look might be the perfect choice. But if you’re drawn to tradition or want that grand ceremony reveal, skipping it could feel more special.
First Look vs. Aisle Reveal: A Side-by-Side Comparison
| Category | First Look | Traditional Aisle Reveal |
| Privacy | Private, quiet moment | Public, shared with guests |
| Timing | Before the ceremony | During the ceremony |
| Emotional tone | Calm, intimate | Dramatic, high-energy |
| Photo timeline | Flexible, more time | Tighter, less natural light |
| Tradition factor | Modern, breaks tradition | Timeless, symbolic moment |
Key Takeaway: There’s no “better” option—just what feels more meaningful to you.
How a First Look Affects Your Wedding Timeline
✅ With:
- Getting ready
- First look (usually 60–90 minutes before the ceremony)
- Couple + wedding party portraits
- Ceremony
- Family photos
- Reception (you may be able to attend your own cocktail hour!)
❌ Without:
- Getting ready
- Ceremony
- Family portraits
- Couple + wedding party portraits (often during cocktail hour)
- Reception
Important Considerations:
- For Fall/Winter weddings – If your ceremony is later in the day and you’re not doing a first look, you may lose daylight for portraits.
- A first look can create a more relaxed photo schedule and ensure you don’t miss any of the party.
Looking for more info? Check out this post on creating your ideal wedding timeline: How to Create a Stress-Free Wedding Day Timeline
Not Sure? Ask Yourselves These Questions
- Do we want to spend more of the day together?
- Are we more private or more traditional?
- Is maximizing time with our guests a top priority?
- How do we feel about being photographed before the ceremony?
- Are we okay with starting the day earlier?
Talk with your photographer and planner—they can help you weigh the pros and cons based on your venue, light, and timeline.
Creative Alternatives to a Traditional First Look
Not sure you want a full first look, but still want something special? Consider these:
- First touch: Hold hands around a door or corner without seeing each other
- Exchange letters: Read private vows or notes back-to-back
- First look with a parent or loved one(s)
- Private post-ceremony moment: Sneak away after your ceremony for a few quiet minutes together
These can offer the emotional intimacy while preserving the aisle moment.
Final Thoughts: There’s No Wrong Choice!
Whether you choose a first look or stick with tradition, the most important thing is that it reflects you. Your day, your pace, your connection. The right decision is the one that feels true to your story.
Still Wondering: Should You Do a First Look at Your Wedding?
Let’s chat! As a wedding photographer who’s captured both options, I’m always happy to talk through what might work best for you, your timeline, and your photos. Reach out here!
FAQs: First Looks at Weddings
1. What is a first look in a wedding?
It is a private, pre-ceremony moment where you and your partner see each other for the first time on your wedding day. Unlike the traditional aisle reveal, a first look happens before the ceremony and is often photographed to capture emotional reactions in an intimate setting.
2. Should we do a first look or wait until the ceremony?
It depends on your priorities. A first look allows for a calm, private moment together and more time for photos, while a traditional aisle reveal preserves that classic, emotional “wow” moment in front of your guests. Choose the option that aligns best with your personalities and timeline.
3. Does a first look ruin the aisle moment?
Not necessarily. While you’ll have already seen each other, many couples still find the ceremony emotional and impactful. It can actually reduce nerves and help you be more present during the ceremony.
4. What are the pros and cons of doing a first look at a wedding?
Pros include a private emotional moment, better lighting for photos, and a more relaxed timeline. Cons include breaking tradition, an earlier start time, and possibly less dramatic impact during the ceremony. It’s about what feels most meaningful to you.
5. Are there alternatives to a traditional first look?
Yes! Consider a first touch (holding hands without seeing each other), reading letters back-to-back, or having a first look with a parent. These options provide emotional connection while keeping the aisle reveal intact.
Do You Want a First Look?
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